How do you do it?

Hey my crush :\ sometimes i wonder how you do it. How can you sit back and watch yourself hurting someone so bad and not feel any guilt. You say things to me, about me, or behind me. And you still look at me at the same way. With those eyes of green searching for the answers inside me. You want to know everything. You want to know how i feel and if i am truly hurting inside. You just have to ask. And I'll tell you. I'll tell you that you were the first boy I ever loved. You were the one who took my heart and locked it inside of yours. You placed my fingers in between each of yours. And in the end, you took that heart, and you shredded in to pieces. You could have just ripped it in half. Then it would be easier to put back together. But instead, you tore it. Piece by piece you shredded it. And no one can fix it. No one wants to. Because they look at at what you made me. A girl wuth permanent tears painted on my face. I am now just an empty void. There is no desire to want to love again. Because now there is only the fear of running what I have tried so hard to build up. But, for sure, I still hoping for you to come back see me kiss me hug me and say the simple word --> ILY :) I pray for your happiness sayang :) I will wait for you. I crossed my heart <3